Hope

For those who love worship music and/or want to support all those hurting at VT, check out this link. You won't regret it.

The Day After

I was off yesterday and so I managed to miss what was happening until mid-afternoon. It was hard to take in and hit close to home. I was still grappling with everything when I found something that helped make some sense of the display of evil I was seeing on my television:

Though the darkness closes in, I believe that God is on His throne, and that He is good beyond our wildest dreams. He is the Savior of the whole wide world. Yet we are living in shattered days, a faint image of what He hoped and dreamed for us all. And today, the weight of our fallen race seems too heavy to bear.

There's so much in the world that I don't understand. Days like today I'm afraid that I do understand, and it becomes hard to handle living in the world.

Mark Your Calendars

The official leak (is that an oxymoron?) on the 268 blog this morning is that Passion is coming to Boston October 12-13th (Chicago October 19-20). A Passion conference within driving distace of me - I can't wait.

So, mark your calendars now. Great preaching and worship is coming to New England.

Beauty

CCM magazine has an interesting article on beauty and image in the Christian music industry. She interviewed many top artists on how they feel about the push for beauty in a sector that claims that beauty is on the inside. It's a worthwhile read.

When I got home last night the hard copy of the magazine was waiting for me and the article had an extra sidebar that wasn't available in the online edition. The title was "Made to Worship Who?" and the subject was, of course, Chris Tomlin. He tells the story of flying to his first photo shoot and the letter Louie Giglio gave him to read on the plane. It read, in part:

"Everyone was coming to John the Baptist in John 3 and saying, 'You're it. You're the deal... You're getting quite popular here.' And he responded, 'I am not... there's One that's coming. I can't even tie His shoes. That's the One you need to go to. And when you see Him, you're going to know that He must increase and I must decrease.' And as they're taking your pictures today, I just want you to hold that in your heart.... 'you don't even tie this guy's shoes'."

Just one more reason to love John the Baptist and to apply him to a modern context.

Physically versus Spiritually Tired

Here's a great quote from Louie Giglio's blog last night:

We are officially wiped...but God has never been intimidated by our weakness, rather He relishes in the opportunity to breathe through weary vessels. And, as though there was ever any question, once a night like tonight is done it is clear that anything of power that was left behind is of God and not of man.

It was the second to last night of their tour (Chris Tomlin, Louie Giglio, Matt Redman).

Having been so wiped out this week after the Caregiver Kit project, this quote really hit home. There's a lot in there about being physically tired, but still being willing. I had been feeling weird this week about being so tired out by serving. Shouldn't I have unending energy for serving God if I'm doing it for the right reasons? What about Isaiah 40 ("run and not grow weary"). This quote was a good reminder that of course we're going to get physically tired at times, that's just human weakness. It's a matter of not letting that get in the way of God using you.

Cyber Housecleaning

Why is it so much easier to houseclean online spots than it is my real life house?

You may notice some changes on the side. Some older links taken down (Keer - if you start blogging again I'll put you back up) and a link to Louie Giglio's blog added. And a new color on top. Nothing huge.

Bigger news is that I finally took the plunge yesterday and picked up a webhost. My smugmug account for my photos is due to expire in March and I'm not keen on spending $60 a year for a hosting service that doesn't let me do things the way I want to do them or have things look the way I want them to. I'm sure the new site will have lots of challenges (challenge #1 - designing the new site), but I'm looking forward to having something more professional and in my control. I'll let you know when there's something worth seeing.

Falling Shoes

Several months ago I read a statement by Louie Giglio that has really stuck with me. He said that as Christians we can't keep living as if "the other shoe" is going to drop. We can't assume in the good times that we have to brace ourselves for the coming bad times.

This has given me a lot to think about in terms of faith. Is bracing ourselves somehow assuming that God will just forget about us and we have to take care of ourselves? If we keep ourselves totally focused on God, will we be able to avoid pessimism?

The other day a friend made a comment to me about how the ministries I'm involved in thriving. I almost shot back that it was only a matter of time until I screwed something up. That was a lack of faith that God would continue to provide. That was hedging my bets and keeping one foot in the world, just in case things didn't work out with God.

Then tonight I got an email that really does make it seem like things were "too good to be true" and like the calm that I saw was all a fake. People were just not talking about their discontent and anger. I'm struggling to not internalize this and take it as personal criticism, but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take it. The email's full of some nasty accusations and I don't know what to do about it. Well, I know the first thing I'm supposed to do is pray. I don't know whether to respond (first instinct) or just leave it (and risk looking like I don't care). I don't know whether to call some kind of an emergency meeting or let people think and pray about it until next week.

And it hurts. It hurts when friends who you really care about lash out with accusations. I don't know if it's a lesson in humility or a lesson in leadership. So far it seems like a lesson in "why it's easier to be a pew filler than to put yourself out there in leadership."

I hate living like the other shoe is going to drop, but I also hate being unprepared for moments like this.

Anyone with answers out there?

Louie News

Going in to the Passion 07 conference I knew that Louie Giglio had announced that there wouldn't be a Passion 08 conference. At first I was disappointed (I had wanted to go and volunteer next year), but then I realized if Louie was stopping this event it must be to focus on something bigger.

Sure enough, they've now announced plans for two exciting new projects. The first is regional events in 07 and 08, including a stop in Boston! Whoo hoo. The second is a global tour of Passion events. No cities announced yet. It's a pretty exciting step and fantastic to see the commitment to going global.

Now I need to get myself together to send materials to them and try to volunteer to do photography for them at one of the regional events. Motivation in January is generally low!

Edited to add - for those of you reading along at home, the Passion sessions are back up. Check them out at www.268generation.com

Getting Slower

Well, it looks like the flu isn't really the flu and is actually fibromyalgia. This means 10+ hours of sleep a day and spending the rest of the day in a haze and hardly being able to move. Not fun. I don't normally get sick like this in January, so I'm struggling to understand the point of being unable to function when I need to do so much.

Sorry to those that went to the 268generation.org website and missed Beth Moore's talk (they are only up for 24 hours). Right now there are talks by John Piper and Louie Giglio up. I haven't heard either, but I'm hoping to catch them tonight.

Have I mentioned that I'm addicted to 24? Thanks Bryan. I needed more things to compell me to keep me sitting on my couch. It actually wasn't such bad timing since I've been sick and can't really move much.

Speaking of sick/fibromyalgia/and generally moving slower and feeling out of it, I might have to slow down on the updating of the blog. I'm barely functioning, let alone being interesting and don't have a lot of spare energy. Hopefully I can kick this thing quickly. In the meantime - pray!

Don't Miss Out

The Passion 07 conference started last night. I'm particularly interested in this year's conference because of their "Do Something Now" project that includes work with many global ministries and impacting Atlanta while they are there. Each person attending brought a towel and socks for the homeless shelters in the city because Louie said that when 15,000 followers of Christ decend on a city they city should know they are there. Cool idea.

Anyhow, for those of us not able to go to the conference, they are streaming the main sessions on their website. Just go to ENTER and then Watch Passion 07 Main Sessions Here. They are up for 24 hours each (so, the one up right now is last night's session). The sessions are about 2 hours and include the worship and the talk each night. Right now I'm an hour in and the worship has been amazing.

Speaking of missing out, I'm still sick and at home missing out on everything. Well, I guess not everything. Instead of doing work I'm watching Louie preaching, so it's not all bad!

Here's an amazing interview with Louie Giglio about the Passion conference. The quote that just brings it all together:

But when you wed any expressions of worship and the teaching of God’s Word, the truth is what sets you free, not the music. Music makes you feel good, but the truth is what sets you free. When you put those two things together and you add to them a call to action, then I think you’re finding a sweet spot for what worship is.

If the call to action is not there, then we’re just soaking up a great experience, and man, give me more, more, more, more. We are consuming worship. The point of worship, though, as far as I can tell from reading the Bible cover to cover, is not for people to consume the worship, but for people to be consumed in the worship for the glory of God.

The combination of worship in music, strong theological teaching and then the call to action. Sweet! Take out any of those three and what you've got is a hollow reflection.

Race to the Finish

With less than a week to go before I jet out of here for fun up north and then prayer out west, it seems like I'm in a sprint. So much to finish on my desk at work. So much to finish at church. So much to finish at home. Christmas cards to write. House to clean.

And yet.... Instead of being able to focus on completing the tasks at hand, my boss continues to pile things on my desk and I keep being caught in tremendous time wasting episodes. Sigh. It's hard to make people understand that planes will not wait for me and I can't not sleep for a week to finish their project.

At the same time there are things that I want to be a priority, but because they aren't as urgent and inflexible they are getting ignored. I'm glad I'm going to OneThing and will have a chance to do some priority re-aligning before rejoining the world in January.

ETA ~ After posting this I went over to the 268 Blog (home of Louie Giglio and the Passion ministry) and he's posted about racing to the finish. He even quoted Isaiah 40, which seems to be the theme of the week.

Trust and Obey

A couple of months ago I lent my brother my Louie Giglio book "i am not, but i know I AM". I didn't think much of it until he put up a passage on his blog. Reading it brought the whole book back to me. I can't tell you how many times I've gone back to that post either to read it again for myself or to copy it and send it to a friend who really needs it.

So, here it is. Something to trust and obey from my good friend Louie:

Furious rest, you see, is not about doing nothing. It's about doing
everything we do with the quiet confidence that our lives, families, businesses,
ministries, relationships, and dreams are in His hands.

Maybe for you the circumstances are different, yet the weight is the
same. You know, the weight of trying to make yourself out to be bigger
than you are - of trying to figure out how to run your life on your own, of
always trying to determine the outcome, control the relationship, close the
deal, run the show, hold it all together, know the future, protect your
interest, build your kingdom - the weight of playing the role of God in your
life and the lives of those around you.

But be encouraged. Today is the Sabbath. Oh, it may not
literally be Sunday, but Sabbath is a state of mind and attitude of the
heart. Sabbath happens anywhere and everywhere we let go of the controls
and lay the cares of our lives at His feet.

So where is your future right now? Where is the outcome of your
pressing dilemma? Is it in your hands? Is it in the hands of the
businessman or woman on the other side of the table? Is it in the hands of
a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it in the hands of a team of doctors?
Or is your life, and all that concerns you, in the hands of the God who
constructed the universe effortlessly in one week?

If you want more rest and less "stressed," declare this very moment to be
your Sabbath - the place where you pry your fingers off the circumstance and
people you are trying so desperately to control, the place you discover that
life really does work better in His hands instead of yours.

Commited

I've recently been listening to a great series by Louie Giglio called "Boy Meets Girl". During one of the talks he made a statement that made me stop and think and has had me thinking ever since. He said that the sin of my generation is a lack of commitment. We want to keep all of our options open forever. Often this means keeping all of our options open so long that our options actually disappear and decisions are made for us because of our waiting for the perfect option to appear.

The more I thought, the more I realized that I've seen this in many areas lately. In several groups I've noticed that people are happy to be there as long as they retain the option to not be there. No one wants to take responsibility. No one wants to commit to the group - they want the option to back out if things start to go south or if something better comes along.

This evening I was re-reading an article in Relevant that is an interview with Dallas Willard. I've mentioned this article before, last spring when I was sick and feeling that that I wasn't connecting with my life. In the article Willard addresses this same issue with the current generation and how while they desperately want community, they aren't willing to commit to it.

But most of them don't know what community means because community means assuming responsibility for other people and that means paying attention and not following your own will but submitting your will and giving up the world of intimacy and power you have in the little consumer world that you have created. They are lonely and they hurt. They don't know why that they think community might solve that, but when they look community in the face and realize that it means raw, skin to skin contact with other people for whom you have become responsible...that's when they back away.

Wow. That just describes so much of what I've been seeing around me and feeling for myself. Lonely and hurting and wanting a community to turn to. However, community isn't something you order out of a catalogue. It's full of real people who have the same amount of hurt and brokenness as I do. Community won't solve my problems. Community is going to bring different problems. When is the right time to commit to a community? What's the right level to commit?

It's kind of odd to identify an issue like this. The obvious response is to quickly jump into something for the sake of committing. But that level of commitment requires lots of thought and prayer.

There's got to be a balance. Maybe someone from another generation can shed some light on this. I'm not sure any Gen Xers can see beyond our own issues to solve this. How do I reach beyond the "consumer world I've created"? How do I make responsible commitments? How do you shape community in a generation that can't commit?

Ack - and mild panic

So, I'm just jumping through my usual links this morning catching up on things. I get to the 268 Blog (Louie Giglio's blog and an information center for the Passion movement events). In the new entry he mentions the "big news" that was announced in last week's podcast (which I haven't listened to yet).

There's no Passion conference next year.

Evidently there's some new direction, but there won't be the mega-conference after Christmas next year.

Now, backing up a little, it had been my plan to next year volunteer at Passion, either with prayer (which is a huge part of the conference) or communications (hopefully doing photography). This would mean flying to Atlanta after Christmas, staying in a hotel and getting submerged in the whole event. Exciting right? Given that I did the England trip this year, it wasn't really feasible to spend around $1000 to do the Passion thing as well.

However, now next year doesn't exist as an option.

I really want to have a chance to support this organization and be part of the ministry. However, financially it doesn't make any sense to do right now. Plus, taking that much time off when I've recently (two months ago) taken off three weeks would be pushing my boss's patience.

What to do. What to do. Atlanta for New Year's?

Top Twenty Books

A blog I regularly read had a top list of their favorite Christian books. It got me thinking. I don't have the brainpower to completely rank them, but here's a list:

1. Red Moon Rising - Pete Greig
2. The Vision/The Vow - Pete Greig
3. The Divine Conspiracy - Dallas Willard
4. The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
5. Velvet Elvis - Rob Bell
6. The Barbarian Way - Erwin McManus
7. Captivating - John and Stasi Eldredge
8. Kingdoms in Conflict - Charles Colson
9. Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas
10. Life Together - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
11. The Way I Was Made - Chris Tomlin
12. I Am Not but I Know I AM - Louis Giglio
13. Too Busy Not to Pray - Bill Hybels
14. Wild at Heart - John Eldredge
15. Making Life Work - Bill Hybels
16-20. clearly I need to be doing more reading.....

Please note that this list is severely limited because it only contains books that I've read (and would put on a top list of Christian books). I think the next task is the books I still need to read both those staring at me from my bookshelf and those I don't have yet! Making the list definitely made me realize how little I've read and how much I've read that I couldn't recommend.