One More Time

I'm off in a few minutes to what I hope is my last doctor's appointment for a while. I've been feeling a little less exhausted since Sunday. By that I mean I get winded and need a nap after walking 5 minutes, not two. I'm not sure what my doctor's going to do with that, especially since I still have my lovely cold. Yes, after 10 days of anti-biotics and 7 days of Singulair, I'm still sick sick sick. And tired of being sick. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for a month or so.

What to do...

While I'm feeling slightly better, it seems as soon as I have any energy, something comes up to take all that extra energy. It feels like a losing battle.

In the midst of this, something has come up that would be an amazing opportunity for this summer. I know I should be excited and jump at it. However, it's hard to be excited when I don't know where I'm going to get the energy to get through the day. Is it a matter of faith that I will be healthy by the summer?

There's also the issue of money. Not exactly sure where the money to do this will come from, but I guess it's a matter of taking the leap knowing that the details will work out.

Cute Shoes

I take a lot of flack for my large shoe collection and for the fact that I love cute shoes. The problem with cute shoes is that often aren't super comfortable. So, if I know I won't have to walk too far, I'll wear cute shoes. However, there are very few times when I know for certain I won't have to walk anywhere, so there are very few occasions to pull out the cute shoes.

I've now found a new use for cute shoes.

Yesterday I managed to drag myself to church despite feeling awful and hoping I could manage not to over exert myself.

Rather than slip on the comfortable shoes, I put on cute shoes. Not only did I look cuter, but I had a real incentive not to overdo it. I stopped for an errand on the way home and I quickly realized my feet weren't going to let me go too far. For once this was a really good thing and helped keep me from over exerting myself.

Score one for cute shoes!

A Change of Scenery

I'm hanging out at my friends B-squared's house and hanging out on their couch. Nice to have a change of scenery and just lie low for the day. As an added bonus, they won't let me do anything strenuous. Nice to have accountability in your laziness.

Evidently I'm Not "Just Lazy"

So, I went to the doctor's this morning and she thinks I have mono. They took an awful lot of my blood and she put me on all kinds of medications "just in case". Evidently I'm much sicker than I thought I was. That's the problem with fatigue. You may be really sick, but you just don't care. All you want to do is sleep.

If I haven't been calling you back, returning your emails or responding fast enough - sorry. Hopefully I'll be feeling better in a few weeks.

Getting to the Bottom of This

Judging from my past blog entries, my current issues with fatigue started March 8th and have been around in varying levels since then. Right now the varying level is high. I'm exhausted and am having a hard time sitting up at work.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my doctor to try to get to the bottom of this. Hopefully she'll do some blood tests and I'll find out what's causing the problem. More importantly - how to fix the problem. My parents are arriving for a visit in a week and I have a major work event at the end of next week. I simply HAVE to get energy back. Right now there's no way I can have house guests. Don't know quite what to do with the situation.

It's April!!

I'm sure that doesn't mean much to most of you, but in the last few years when I've endured a March full of pain and fatigue (from fibromyalgia), the arrival of April is always something to celebrate. Hope for recovery.

This year it's something to celebrate because I had no big flair ups of my fibromyalgia. My fatigue came from overwork and skimping on sleep - not the usual causes - and was remedied with some down time. Little to no pain this year.

It's definitely something to celebrate!

End of a Long Day

Ever have one of those days that is VERY VERY important, but ends up being a big letdown? What's worse, the long, tense drive and general horribleness of the day have made me groggy and numb. The terribleness is over and I can't seem to shake it to go out and enjoy the rest of the day!

Physically versus Spiritually Tired

Here's a great quote from Louie Giglio's blog last night:

We are officially wiped...but God has never been intimidated by our weakness, rather He relishes in the opportunity to breathe through weary vessels. And, as though there was ever any question, once a night like tonight is done it is clear that anything of power that was left behind is of God and not of man.

It was the second to last night of their tour (Chris Tomlin, Louie Giglio, Matt Redman).

Having been so wiped out this week after the Caregiver Kit project, this quote really hit home. There's a lot in there about being physically tired, but still being willing. I had been feeling weird this week about being so tired out by serving. Shouldn't I have unending energy for serving God if I'm doing it for the right reasons? What about Isaiah 40 ("run and not grow weary"). This quote was a good reminder that of course we're going to get physically tired at times, that's just human weakness. It's a matter of not letting that get in the way of God using you.

Exhaustion Sets In Part II

I thought a good night's sleep had cured me earlier in the week, but it's pretty obvious today that I'm not. I'm getting tired and achy, which is a pretty good sign that fibromyalgia is flaring up. Not entirely unexpected (since it's March), but still painful. And there are a lot of things (like packaging up the Caregiver Kits to get them to World Vision, an upcoming visit from the parents and other projects) that really need energy. Energy that I just don't have right now.

So, if I disappear for a little while, that's why. Work is demanding a lot more from me and that may take every ounce I have for a while.

My preference, sleep for a month and then re-emerge ready to take things on.

Exhaustion Sets In

Something went wrong today and I burst into tears. In Panera. In front of a bunch of people. Fantastic.

Looks like all the events of the last few weeks have worn me out more than I realized. Time to catch up on some sleep and grab some down time.

End of a Long Week

What a week it has been. Lots of demanding work stuff. Lots of outside of work commitments. All good, but by last night I was exhausted. I was supposed to go to a women's retreat this morning. I woke up feeling wiped out and just went right back to bed. In the end I slept about 12 hours and while I'm up now, I don't feel motivated to do anything useful. I guess that's what weekends are made for.