Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Dove Award for Uselessness Goes To

So, tucked away in my desk is a packet of Dove chocolates. Little bites of goodness wrapped in pretty foil. They are somewhat of an emergency measure. When I get in a situation where I feel the need to remove someone's head from their body, I reach for a little piece of chocolate. Whether it's the distraction of the activity or whatever fabulous chemical reaction chocolate does to your brain, I usually get calm enough to get through the moment.

Inside said fabulous bits of chocolate are "Promises messages". You know the ones. Those pithy phrases that didn't quite make the cut for bad bumper stickers. Here are the latest three award winning pieces of inspiration:

"Whisper in the dark"

"There's a time for comprimise... it's called later"

"Be fearless"

Huh? What's the point in that? Are they trying to be fortune cookies? How are those promises? I could dig through my trash and find more of these gems, but take my word for it, they only get worse.

So, what's the point of this? Am I suppose to be savoring my chocolate, read these pieces of philosophy and feel better about my life? Are they supposed to transform me into a better person? Seriously? "Whisper in the dark"???

Why don't they put something useful in there? Like maybe the prison term for hurting someone and hiding the body. Or the number for an anger management counsellor. Or "I will never leave you or forsake you". Now there's a decent promise.

Anyhow, I've been more sensitive to these things since I've started reading Dallas Willard's book The Divine Conspiracy. Great book, and his point about our world flying upside down is very well taken. I have a collection of chocolate wrappers to prove it.


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