12 again

I've always wondered why though I was anxious to get away from work, as soon as I got home for the holidays I would log in to work email and check things out. Not in the "oh look at me I have such an important job" kind of a way, but in a keeping an eye on things kind of way.

I'm sure there are lots of deep dark reasons, but a talk on leadership I recently heard from Erwin McManus has hit "home" this holiday season. He talked about how going home is so undermining because people treat you like you were and not as you are. You need to struggle to keep your identity as people are treating you like you still have an old identity.

Tonight I borrowed Dad's car to "go out and hang out with my friends". Never mind that my friend has three kids and we went out on the town in her minivan. My Mom still makes me justify all my decisions to her. Oh, and there was the walking home today the same way I walked home from elementary school every day.

Staying in touch with my friends at my regular home and peaking in on work help me remember that this is not who I really am. There are probably better ways of doing that than checking work email, but it's what I've done for years.

I'm glad I got to hear that McManus talk and realize it's not just me who deals with these things and struggles to stay an adult when thrown back into the world of being a kid (and not in a good way) again.