Not For the Faint of Heart
So, today was the celebration Sunday for our Caregiver Kit project. 174 kits and counting. It's a pretty big pile of boxes. And exciting when you think of the 174 (at least) people that they will help.
Pretty simple - an exciting day to celebrate the end of a project that has exceeded all my expectations, right?
Not quite so easy. The problems started with a big snowstorm on Friday and the supplies for the boxes didn't come until we were well into the storm. After we got the truck unloaded, it took 2 hours to drive what would take 20 minutes on a clear day. Then I watched and waited to see if the storm would stop before our party to assemble the kits. It did and I dug out my car for a half hour only to find that instead of starting it made a nice clicking sound.
For some reason this threw me into a complete panic that I didn't really recover from all night. Add to that some smelly soap going into the kits and a party that went until pretty late (I was exhausted) and I wasn't in good shape by the time I got home (note, car is still dead at this point).
Overnight I couldn't sleep and whenever I'd snatch a moment of sleep I'd hear nasty things. And they were nasty things that built on the nightmares I've been having for the last couple of days. And the nasty things go something like "If you don't drop this Africa project, you won't be getting any more sleep" and "if you continue with the campus stuff we're going to kill you". Evidently spiritual warfare wasn't working, so we've switched over to spiritual terrorism.
Over the last few weeks I had started having some doubts and wondering if maybe consumerism was really so bad. Wondering if the sacrifices were worth it. Wondering if I was taking things to seriously.
This is not a joke. This is not a test. This is the real deal. This is a war and any weakness will be used. Pretending you can be a half-hearted Christian is a joke. Faith as a spiritual insurance policy is a joke. All this stuff happening is more than a coincidence. I realized this morning that I have to stop letting myself get isolated and just trying to deal with it on my own. This is serious stuff and I have to treat it seriously. I had some friends pray over me this morning. The good news is, I already know I have Victory on my side.
Pretty simple - an exciting day to celebrate the end of a project that has exceeded all my expectations, right?
Not quite so easy. The problems started with a big snowstorm on Friday and the supplies for the boxes didn't come until we were well into the storm. After we got the truck unloaded, it took 2 hours to drive what would take 20 minutes on a clear day. Then I watched and waited to see if the storm would stop before our party to assemble the kits. It did and I dug out my car for a half hour only to find that instead of starting it made a nice clicking sound.
For some reason this threw me into a complete panic that I didn't really recover from all night. Add to that some smelly soap going into the kits and a party that went until pretty late (I was exhausted) and I wasn't in good shape by the time I got home (note, car is still dead at this point).
Overnight I couldn't sleep and whenever I'd snatch a moment of sleep I'd hear nasty things. And they were nasty things that built on the nightmares I've been having for the last couple of days. And the nasty things go something like "If you don't drop this Africa project, you won't be getting any more sleep" and "if you continue with the campus stuff we're going to kill you". Evidently spiritual warfare wasn't working, so we've switched over to spiritual terrorism.
Over the last few weeks I had started having some doubts and wondering if maybe consumerism was really so bad. Wondering if the sacrifices were worth it. Wondering if I was taking things to seriously.
This is not a joke. This is not a test. This is the real deal. This is a war and any weakness will be used. Pretending you can be a half-hearted Christian is a joke. Faith as a spiritual insurance policy is a joke. All this stuff happening is more than a coincidence. I realized this morning that I have to stop letting myself get isolated and just trying to deal with it on my own. This is serious stuff and I have to treat it seriously. I had some friends pray over me this morning. The good news is, I already know I have Victory on my side.
Labels: Africa project, faith, sleep, spiritual warfare, struggle
posted by Joy at
8:51 PM
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